Loneliness ~ An unfortunate side effect of being a SAHM

When I became a SAHM I knew the work would be hard, especially when both of my kids were under 3. But I never imagined how secluded I was about to become.

You start to miss simple adult conversations. I complained all the time when I worked about my annoying employees, but now I wish for those terrible conversations. Sometimes you need more than a 3 year old conversation.

It seems over time the people you are close to disappear. You get comfortable with your circle of friends and don't realize at the time that it could end someday.

When Chris and I got married in 2003, I started to notice we were not getting the phone calls or invites we had in the past. Not entirely sure why. We were still the same people; I just had a new last name.le, I just had a new last name.

After I graduated that Dec, we moved away from our small college town to find much needed work. We decided to stay in the Kansas City area since we both loved it here. We have no family here, but we enjoy this part of the state compared to St Louis and Springfield.

Choosing to live in an area with no family puts a little strain on us. My Dad does live in town, but due to disability he cannot watch the kids by himself. We don't have anyone nearby that we can drop the kids off so we can have a night together. In fact we haven't had a kid free night since Brayden was 4 months old. We went to see Rob Zombie. (Side note - He puts on a great show! I've seen him a few times)

I really don't know what I would do without Facebook or Twitter. On most days it is my only adult contact besides my husband. Facebook gives me a view of how other people are doing. It fulfills a small social void. I love looking at pictures. Especially of pets and babies. Facebook also allows me to know a person a little better. There is a lot you can know about a person based on the pictures they post and the stuff they share or like.

I do try to get out of the house daily. The weather this year has made this a little harder. Since I don't have a car, we mostly walk to the little park up the street. I never knew when I became a SAHM how excited I would be to see another parent at the park, even if it’s only 30 minutes or so.

I've tried to do the forum thing. I just don't understand the language. I was reading for a week before I decided to Google what a ds or a dd were. Heck, it took me forever to figure out how to use Twitter properly.

I look forward to when the kids start activities. I would like to get Brayden in more activities, but unfortunately there are not many options for pre-k on the weekends. Those timeslots are saved for the school aged kids. The activities will not only be good for the kids, but myself as well. I will be able to meet parents with kids my kids ages.

I just have to keep telling myself that this feeling is only temporary. In a few years, both my kids will be in school and I will be able to find a part time job or do an activity while they are in class. This too will get me out of the house and socialize with other adults. 

Until then I will be the SAHM of a 3yo and an 18mo, whose most important role is to be the best mommy ever.